Review: Positive Discipline in the Montessori Classroom by Chip DeLorenzo

Classroom management can be the most difficult thing for any new teacher to learn; it’s so often the missing piece in many teacher training programs. Nelsen and DeLorenzo have written the definitive manual for handling those prickly social-emotional situations that can, and do, come up in every Montessori classroom.

Jane Nelsen has said that in the 40 years since the publication of the first edition of her first book, Montessorians have been the group that have embraced her approach to relationship building the easiest and most enthusiastically. Positive Discipline has been widely adopted in Montessori schools in the United States, and many of the top leadership of the Positive Discipline Association are Montessorians. In fact this alliance goes back much further, to the very beginning.

Dr Nelsen based her approach on the psychology of Alfred Adler, a student and friend of Maria Montessori. Both Adler and Montessori were born in 1870 and both were pioneers in their fields, rule-breakers and rebels who shunned their establishments to forge their own path based on a deep respect for the dignity of the child. While Dr Montessori’s focus was on creating a pedagogy that allows the child to flourish in the classroom, Dr Adler’s attention was on what Montessori termed “deviations” and the childhood influences that get in the way of human beings reaching their fullest potential.

Unlike the still dominant parenting philosophy in most parts of the world which has always sought to control the behaviour of the child with rewards and punishments, Adler and his disciple Rudolph Dreikurs (author of Children: The Challenge) saw the “misbehaving child as a discouraged child” whose connection with the important adults in their lives had been broken. And like Montessori, Positive Discipline shows parents and educators how to gain the cooperation of children by examining aspects of their own behaviour that may be sources of confusion and misbehaviour in children, and by empowering children with skills that develop resilience, empathy, self-control and the ability to solve their own problems without tantrums or acting out. Positive Discipline is evidence-based, with years of research that has proven its effectiveness in putting the joy back in parenting for families in over 80 countries around the world.

What took so long for these philosophies to be blended into a book? Possibly because this was the least urgent of the 18 books that Jane Nelsen has penned on her own or with various co-authors. Montessori melts easily into Positive Discipline, but this “authoritative” (kind and firm) parenting style has been eagerly embraced by many whose beliefs about parenting don’t match the dominant leadership style of the countries in which they live. Positive Discipline is very popular in both Egypt and China, for example, despite the cultural differences between these countries and the United States. In several countries (including Peru and Colombia) it has been adopted by government agencies to be taught in schools because of its proven record of reducing violence and facilitating reconnection. Its core principle that every human being requires belonging and significance to thrive resonates everywhere, and this may explain the program’s longevity and worldwide appeal.

For Montessori educators, this is a book that has been needed for quite some time. Positive Discipline in the Montessori Classroom fills a void in many training programs that leaves teachers to figure out classroom management on their own, sink or swim. Too often managing challenging behaviours is the aspect of teaching that drives unseasoned educators from the coalface. Dr Montessori’s writings provide some answers in this area, but this was not her main focus, she didn’t work much with older children, and in many ways children have changed.

Positive Discipline codifies Montessori principles in a way that allows even new teachers to gain a practical understanding of “deviations” and to apply these principles to the typical behavioural challenges of the modern child. The principles succinctly outlined in the this new book (such as Connection Before Correction), reminders (“Limits aren’t limits until they are tested” is my favourite!) and realistic suggestions (like staying “Present, Warm and Silent”) are backed up with honest scenarios that don’t idealise Montessori students’ behaviour and also address societal changes since Montessori’s time. Each chapter is crowned with helpful self-reflection questions that prompt the reader to dig deep for answers to situations that more often than not begin with the adult!

Just like Jane and Chip, Positive Discipline and Montessori go together like PB and J, or Vegemite and lightly buttered toast!